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Welcome To The Cornfields

by Killing Younglings

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1.
Gray Poopon 02:01
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Got in my car the other day Told my Butler where, I was on my way Hit a red light and a man pulled next to me Rolled down my window and this is what I see Pardon me sir do you have any gray poopon I need Dijon mustard or I can't go on Pardon me sir do you have any gray poopon I need Dijon mustard or I can't go on Pardon me sir do you have any gray poopon I need Dijon mustard or I can't go on Pardon me sir do you have any gray poopon I need Dijon mustard or I can't go on Woke up in a sawmill the next day Rope in my mouth, gun in my face Open my eyes and what do I see "That's just not going to cut the mustard I'm afraid" "What do you mean? What do you want from me? Just let me go, I'll do whatever you want" *chainsaw noises*
2.
Cold One (Free Beer) 02:29
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"let's just see how much we can fuck this up" *can opening* If you want free beer I'll tell you the steps Listen to me and you'll have no regrets If you want free beer I'll tell you the steps Listen to me and you'll have no regrets Underage! Fake mustache! Cool top hat! No beer!! Drunken Uncle, promised free beer, passed out on the couch, promised us beer No beer!! Underage! Fake mustache! Cool top hat! No beer!! Drunken Uncle, promised free beer, passed out on the couch, promised us beer No beer!! Free beer! Free beer! All we need is a free beer! Free beer! Free beer! We gotta have a free beer! Free beer! Free beer! All we need is a free beer! Free beer! Free beer! You should go and buy us a free beer! "wait a minute boys, none of those steps even worked! But I think I know the right steps now" "uh.. pay for it?" "pay for it? That's not why I wrote this fuckin song!!" Start a band, write some songs, record an EP Get free beer! Start a band, write some songs, play at CB Get free beer! Start a band, write some songs, sell some CDs Get free beer! Start a band, write some songs, sell some CDs Get free beer! Start a band, write some songs, record an EP Get free beer!
3.
Harambe Taught Us Karate In Zimbabwe 03:17
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"It feels like it happened a gorillian years ago..." Harambe! Karate! Zimbabwe! Harambe! Karate! Zimbabwe! Harambe! Karate! Zimbabwe! We were in the jungle deep in Zimbabwe Saw a dojo and headed that way Inside a figure motioned us to stay Started looking harder, it was Harambe "Harambe looked ever so intently into the boys eyes as he asked.." "ha ha ha ha ha are you boys experienced in martial arts?" "Do you boys know karate?!!!!" We were in the jungle deep in Zimbabwe Saw a dojo and headed that way Inside a figure motioned us to stay Started looking harder, it was Harambe "The boys trained extensively for months with Master Harambe in the ways of... Gorilla Warfare" "Oh shit! What's that over there? It's a guy in a yellow banana suit!" "Wait what's that he's holding over there? Is that... a smaller banana?" Years of being the master, he was ready to ascend Warlords broke down the door, we were ready to defend We kicked their asses And the zookeeper's too But it was too late, there was nothing we could do Harambe joined Dio in the big sky zoo Harambe, our dicks are out for you Our dicks are out for you x15 "do you think our dicks are big enough for him to see from Gorilla Heaven?"
4.
Aliens Stole My Brain And Drank My Liquor 04:24
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Aliens stole my brain, and drank my liquor Got an empty skull now, but I'm no kidder The green men stole my brain and drank my liquor Don't look me like that, don't you believe me mister? They exist to be the brain takers They exist to drink your buzz makers You've gotta believe me They touched down last night Probed my ass, and inseminated my wife You've gotta believe me They touched down last night Probed my ass, and drank my Natty light You've gotta believe me They touched down last night Drank my whiskey, gave my bunghole fright (Music shifts towards heavy break down, theremin) "I saw it with my own two eyes In the black of the night Grey figures got out of a ship Craving liquor, brains, and sphincter that probes just right" They say I'm not the same They say I'm not alright You wouldn't be either If they drank your liquor last night This ain't a game They're gonna siphon your liquor tonight Don't even want my brain back Just my Keystone Ice "all of the liquor on earth has been transported back to the home world The inebriated times have come to an end You can invite the aliens to AA but they will not attend"

about

These songs were written during a period of three weeks in 2018 as part of the Random Band Challenge in Columbus, IN. In the contest, strangers are placed into a band and must come up with original songs by the end of the summer for a judged competition. We ended up winning with these incredibly dumb songs.

Myself (Donnie Dingus) and Stu Pididiot did not know each other previously before the contest. We were initially placed into a group of 5 but by the end of summer it was just the two of us remaining. Such is common during the Random Band Challenge. Often only a few bands will make it to the end. Jack Schitt was brought in to play drums. I had never played bass seriously or done lead vocals prior to forming Killing Younglings, making it extra challenging with just a few weeks to go. Guitar was my main instrument for several years beforehand. Jack Schitt was in a similar boat, having played bass for several years and only occasionally playing drums before joining Killing Younglings.

Though this EP was recorded and released in 2022, we tried our best to capture the sound of the original 2018 jams where these were first written.

Check out the music video for Harambe Taught Us Karate In Zimbabwe!

credits

released September 22, 2022

Donnie Dingus: Bass/Vocals/Drum Programming
Stu Pididiot: Guitar/Backing Vocals/Mixing & Mastering
Jack Schitt: Synthesizer/Backing Vocals/Drum Programming/Skin Flute

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Killing Younglings Columbus, Indiana

Killing Younglings is a comedy band from Indiana

Debut EP out now!

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